The very first thing I have to mention is I'm all over a campaign to save CHUCK! Stupid Jay Leno is sucking all the good shows on NBC whith his new 9:00 Tonight show and CHUCK, along with 4 other shows are goign to bight the big one and becanceled. CCHUCK, I believe is one of the best family shows on TV and is on the bubble. For those that have never seen CHUCK it is sort of like a modern, grown up Get Smart . . . sort of.
So if you want to save CHUCK go to this link and sign the petition. It does FACEBOOK if you have it.
I MUST thank the Rotary Club for inviting me to their weekly lunch and don't take any of the below personally - if you have read my blog before . . . . I like to have fun, normally at MY expense but sometimes it leaks into others. All in good fun though.
As for my presentation. WOW - the perfect storm of ineptitude hit me. When I was contacted by Dennis I felt pretty good about giving a presentation as I can talk about pretty much anything with ease and if I don't know a subject I just make up stuff as I go. The odd thing I have found is I don't get nervous beforehand , I believe it is because normally I don't have a plan so how can I get worried. this time I had a plan.
I looked into the Rotary Club to see what it actually was and I came away thinking the audience was going to be basically like the Community Development Authority presentation with downtown buisnesses so all week long I was talking to myself about what I was going to say and thinking of entertaining things.
Well - I get there and I see many 80 year olds. Now I truly love the older/greatest generation, I look up to them because they have gone through a LOT in their lives a I just love listening and talking to them. BUT, my presentation was not geared toward them. Then some High School kids are their and hmmmmmmm this is getting tricky because I have a few things that might not work or could seem inappropriate.
Then there is the Chief of Police. O man! Now if any of you remember my LAST presentation and what happened afterward (involving a gun carrying man in uniform) I had to perhaps cut THAT part out of my presentation.
THEN - we sing "America" who's melody is actually the British national anthem, "God Save the King" but I have no problem with that. It's just not REAL American. However - at one time it WAS the National Anthem of America so I suppose it is as American as you can get . . .from something stolen from Britain. (Did you know that Samuel Francis Smith wrote the lyrics in one half and hour?)
OK - so it's the first time I had sung "America" since . . . . . a long time. Then there is a prayer which his fine but I'm getting a little more uneasy and I'm thinking how Richard Pryor would handle this. And then . . .
And then comes the "Rotarian four-way test" which I think my blog would fail in real life but in theory I'm 100% pro.
1. Is it the truth? FAIL
2. Is it fair to all concerned? FAIL
3. Will it build good will and better friendships? That ties in with my life motto "pay it forward" WIN (unFAIL??)
4. Will it be beneficial to all concerned? Define "all"
So now that 90% of what I was going to say seems inappropriate it's my turn to speak and I'm handed a microphone and nothing to hide behind and I get up to say something and I can not believe that my mind seems to be growing more and more blank by the second. I have not had a microphone in my hands since . . . FOREVER. So I just tell myself the old way to calm your self "Pretend you are naked in front of a large group of people".
It did not seem right and THAT version was certainly not working AT ALL!!
I now know how Blake and Milo feel when we throw them into the center of our invisible fence to teach them not to go in there (more in Milo later). I'm just hoping someone will have pity on me and drag my catatonic body out of the field in time.
I even forget my joke that woke me up Monday night at 2:00 when I thought of it.
"Giving a presentation is like having a Colonoscopy, it really is painless and you don't remember a thing of what you said afterward"
There is always room for good Colonoscopy jokes in a presentation.
Anyway I blathered through what seemed to be two hours of saying the same two sentence's over and over until a cell phone went off and I thought maybe I was suppose go do some karaoke or something or maybe it was the Rotary Clubs equivalent to the gong show and I was about to get the hook!
I feel bad I did not do a better job but then . . . I'm not a public speaker (sober . . . . . see!! I could not say THAT yesterday).
Well - the good news is I decided to unstress and golfed afterword and I was crushing the ball off the tee 230-240 yards right down the middle. But the next 6 shots to get to the green were always a problem. If you have golfed with me you will know that this is the opposite of how I normally golf.
Typically I yank the ball to the right 150 yards and then make 3 amazing trouble shots to the green and one putt bogie.
I did have a nice test marketing of my photos which seemed to be getting positive reactions. I'm still not sure how I want to market them since I have never really "marketed" photos before. My goal it so maybe create a table top photo book about Columbus but those are freakishly expensive or I can matte and frame them but I'll have so many (I'm going to photograph every inch of Columbus and put them in a life size mural). And then there are postcards.
Like I have a lot of time on my hands LOL
Our Dog Guard
Milo and the Invisible Fence installed by Dog Guard. We did research and those are the guys you want.
Anyway. Blake is doing great. He looks at the devil flags and understands not to go near them.
Milo. Well - Milo was out in the yard yesterday and was doing pretty good but then we watched him slowly enter the center of the yard. He was eying the flags, thinking.
He approaches and stops.
Crouching, his back feet do a little dance and he SPRINGS towards the flags and JUMPS, sacrificing his body. ZAP!!! and he is through.
darn it all.!
have a nice day.
And Rotary people - I really did have a nice time - thank you.